Steps for Writing Love Letters

Now that you know what characteristics to include in your letter, let’s turn to the actual steps of writing your letter.

Selection of tools

Love letters are one of a few forms of writing in which the paper and writing tool selected matters. A lot. As with a gourmet meal, when it comes to love letters, presentation is as important as content. Just as you wouldn’t serve an elegant meal on flimsy paper plates, you should not write your love letter on a casual note pad.

Select a card or stationary that is representative of your personality and sensibilities, as well as being pleasant and romantic to look at. The paper or card stock should be of good quality. If there are photographs or graphic elements on the paper, the images should be printed clearly and without smudges. Try not to handle the paper excessively as this can smudge, crease, and wear down the edges of the paper.

Also, consider what kind of pen you will use to compose the final draft of your letter. Select a pen that shows off your handwriting style to its best advantage. If you have large, ornate writing, a fountain pen or felt-tipped pen might add depth and detail to your writing. Very small, tight writing will be easier to read if a ball point or simple gel pen is used. Also, select an ink color that is both easy to read and matches the card or stationary you have selected.


If you are going to add a fragrance to your love letter, now is the time to do so. Select a fragrance that is pleasing and romantic; generally floral-based fragrances work best, those with hints of woodsy or musky undertones. Another option is to use your signature fragrance, the one that you wear most frequently, if you have one. The sense of smell is most strongly linked to memory and, therefore, the most useful in establishing positive emotional connections. But use it wisely and with discretion! Be aware that some people are highly allergic or highly sensitive to fragrances. If you don’t know your lover’s tolerance for fragrance, don’t risk using it.

However, if you do choose to add fragrance to your letter, spray the paper lightly and let it dry completely. Add more fragrance gradually, allowing complete absorption before adding another layer. The goal is for a hint of fragrance to linger as the letter is being read, without overpowering the reader. Prepare several sheets of paper with fragrance, just in case your letter runs several pages long, or to use in the case of unsightly errors in the final draft of the letter. “Do-overs” are allowed in order to create the best possible results and to help make the best impression.

Set the mood

Writing an effective love letter requires careful attention and focus. Because of the emotional nature of a love letter, the writer’s mood will be apparent to the reader. Find a location where you are relaxed and where you won’t be disturbed. Eliminate noisy distractions by selecting music that reminds you of your lover and the good times you have had or hope to have together. If appropriate, surround yourself with pictures, mementos, or other items that belong to your lover or remind you of them. Smile; the simple expression of happiness as you write will translate to your writing voice. Now you’re ready to truly begin.