On scratch paper, write a practice letter. Acknowledging that this is just a practice draft allows you the freedom to be imperfect. You will fix the mistakes later. For now, concentrate on your message to this very special person. What do you really want to say? What is your priority message?
If you are just starting, or hoping to start, a romantic relationship, the message may be as simple as, “You fascinate me. I want to know more.” For a relationship that is firmly established, the message will vary each time you write a letter but, in general, it will reassure your love of ongoing affection and commitment.
Times of physical separation due to business travel, family obligations, service in the military, and other life circumstances often prompt the writing of love letters. The obvious message in these letters is how very much you miss your lover and how much you are thinking about them- and staying true to them!
Lastly, it is fairly common for people to write a love letter when they have done something foolish or in some way violated their lover’s trust. While the primary message in this type of letter is one of apology, there is typically an underlying message of renewed devotion and love as well.
General Guidelines for Drafting
A. Personalize the salutation, being certain to use the reader’s name or nickname, spelled correctly.
B. Write the letter as if you are speaking to the person directly. Don’t become too formal or stiff; instead be yourself.
C. In the body of the letter, tell the reader what makes him or her so special to you. Ideally, try to include emotional, physical, and spiritual qualities.
D. In the final paragraph of your love letter, express your dreams and hopes for the future of the relationship.
E. Keep humor at a minimum, as well as any erotic expressions. Love letters are
usually about emotions, not sex, unless the relationship is well-established and
contains a healthy, strong sexual component.
F. Personalize the closing of the letter, and be sure to sign your name.
G. Don’t mention anyone else but the reader and yourself in your love letter.